…be a tail unto lions, and not a head unto foxes.

– Ethics of our Fathers, 4:15

I heard a remarkable anecdote on a podcast the other day.

Admired for her beauty, Jennie Jerome (Winston Churchill’s mother) glided through the loftiest social circles in Great Britain. Once, on consecutive nights, Ms. Jerome dined with England’s premier politicians: Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli and his chief rival, William Gladstone. When questioned about her impressions of the two men, Ms. Jerome made the following observation:

“When I left the dining room after sitting next to Gladstone, I thought he was the cleverest man in England. But when I sat next to Disraeli I left feeling that I was the cleverest woman.”

Several days after hearing this, I participated in a meeting with two managers who could not more effectively exemplify the contrast between these two approaches. Since then, I’ve made a concerted effort to adopt the Disraeli approach, and it’s been nothing short of revelatory.

For example, in a recent meeting, two brilliant teammates engaged in a prolonged discussion about whether to write an API in Python or Golang. They both provided excellent justifications despite taking opposing and increasingly entrenched positions. Finally, one of them addressed me as a resident senior engineer and asked what I thought about the Python vs Go debate.

“I could go either way because I’m equally terrible at both,” I replied.

Everyone laughed and I could feel the tension evaporate.

It feels good to play that kind of role on a team. It feels good to promote down to earth collaboration, to wear my ignorance on my sleeve and demonstrate, by example, that it’s okay to not know things. It feels good to work hard, but laugh, particularly at myself. At the end of the day, if we’re not having fun, then we’re doing something wrong.

I’ve worked with people who have made me feel brilliant and people who have made me feel dumb, so I know what it’s like to be on both sides of that equation. I’d like to be the kind of person who makes others feel brilliant.

Being a dipstick helps.